Bas Dua Tingkat 2

Sakit belakang

Bas bertolak tepat pada pukul 9.50 malam (berpandukan jam tangan saya) walaupun pada jadual asal, ia sepatutnya bertolak pada pukul 9.30 malam. Jadi saya perhatikan jam digital yang diletakkan di bahagian depan bas. Biasalah orang Melayu, ketika jam tangan saya menunjukkan pukul 9.30 malam, jam di depan 9.20 malam. Jadi, mungkin jam saya cepat 10 minit. Maknanya, bagi mereka, bas bertolak lewat 10 minit. Isunya di sini, kalau beginilah tahap pengangkutan awam di Malaysia sekarang, bagaimana rakyat boleh bergantung harap kepada mereka dalam usaha kerajaan untuk mengurangkan kemalangan jalan raya? Hidup masa kini sangat pantas. Lewat 10 minit, berapa ribu syarikat boleh rugi dan berapa ramai manusia boleh mati. Kita sudah menyahut seruan kerajaan untuk menggunakan pengangkutan awam (itu pun sebab terpaksa!). Lalu bagaimana di pihak mereka?

Bas dua tingkat memang agak sempit berbanding bas biasa. Ia juga lebih rendah berbanding bas biasa. Jadi, benarlah gosip yang digembar-gemburkan. Sempitnya tempat duduk sehingga kita tidak boleh menolak kerusi sedikit ke belakang atau sekiranya ditolak akan menyempitkan lagi orang di belakang menyebabkan saya terpaksa duduk dalam keadaan tegak selama hampir 9 jam. Tapi pak cik di depanku dengan selamba badaknya melakukan sedemikian tanpa ada sedikit pun sifat empati. Laluan tengah antara kerusi juga sangat sempit menyebabkan saya yang berada sebelah dengan seorang wanita bertudung labuh dan nampak thiqoh segan untuk tidur kerana bimbang akan terlena di atas bahunya. Nyaris kepala saya di atas kepalanya kerana terlena seketika sahaja dan kebetulan dia pun terlena. Alhamdulillah, Allah melindungi kami.

Kerusi Double pula tiada pemisah dan menyebabkan anda amat susah untuk bergerak-gerak apatah lagi jika perempuan duduk di sebelah. Gegarannya pula lebih kuat memandangkan saya berada di tingkat atas. Itu logiklah memandangkan circumference distance yang lebih panjang pada kedudukan yang lebih tinggi.  Ditambah pula dengan jalan Gua Musang-KL yang penuh lubang. Jadi perjalanan saya amat menyeksakan dan menyakitkan belakang kerana terpaksa duduk dengan tegak dan tanpa tidur selama 9 jam. Kalaulah perempuan di sebelah itu memakai pakaian yang kurang sopan, mungkin saya tidur je kerana tak sanggup melihat pemandangan yang penuh noda. Lantaklah terjatuh atas riba pun, bukan disengajakan.

Tepat pukul 6.10 pagi, tibalah saya di Hentian Putra. Tak sangka pulak pagi-pagi buta dah penuh orang di stesen bas berhampiran PWTC tersebut. Kedai-kedai makan di sekitar pun sudah mula beroperasi. Selesai solat Subuh, segera saya melangkah ke stesen LRT PWTC.

To be continued - KLCC

Faris Al-Muhandisu: Apa perasaan anda bila duduk di sebelah perempuan dalam bas? adeh.. banyak kali berlaku.. ya Allah, peliharalah imanku.. amin

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Bas Dua Tingkat 1

Assalamualaikum,

Pernah naik bas Double-decker? Mungkin telah menjadi trauma kepada seluruh rakyat Malaysia untuk menaiki bas Double-decker selepas kemalangan ngeri Bas Sani Ekspres tempoh hari. Kebetulan pula bas saya baru sahaja melepasi kawasan kemalangan beberapa jam sebelum kemalangan berlaku. Alhamdulillah, masih dipanjangkan umur walaupun saya antara pengguna tetap bas ekspres beberapa tahun kebelakangan ini. Sebelum ini, saya tak pernah menaiki bas double-decker. Jadi saya tak berapa tahu keadaan sebenar sebuah bas dua tingkat sebagaimana yang digembar-gemburkan orang ramai. Antara ‘gosip’ yang tersebar ialah bas double-decker lebih kuat gegarannya, kurang stabil dan sebagainya. Bagi mengetahui keadaan sebenar, saya dengan ‘gila hati’nya mencuba bas tersebut. Ikuti rentetan kisah perjalanan yang mendebarkan ini:

Bukan Bas Dua Tingkat

Sehari selepas tiba di rumah, saya pergi ke Terminal Langgar untuk membeli tiket pulang ke Lumut pada 2/1/10. Namun, malang tidak berbau, tiket habis sehingga 6/2/10. Saya pun pulang ke rumah dengan duka dan kecewa. Walau bagaimanapun, ia tidak lama. Buat apa lama-lama, nanti satu kerja pun tak jalan. Jadi, dengan penuh motivasi, saya mencari maklumat di internet untuk merancang plan B, C, D, E dan seterusnya agar dapat pulang ke UTP tepat pada masanya. Lalu jalan terbaik mampu difikirkan ialah pergi ke KL dan ambil bas ke Lumut dari KL. Maka kerja gila ini bermula.

Keesokan harinya, saya ke Terminal Langgar kembali untuk membeli tiket ke KL pada 1/1/10 dan tiket KL-Lumut untuk pada hari seterusnya. Memang saya tahu itu tiket bas dua tingkat tetapi sengaja saya mem’bodoh’kan diri untuk bertanya si penjual tiket.

“Kak, ni tiket bah duo tikak ko?”

“Kelih tiket meta.” Akak itu menjawab.

“Buke nih, kelas ekonomi bah setikak.” Dia menyambung.

(Monolog)

“Kak, sayo pum cerdik jugok.. belajar utp bena.. takut godio naik bah duo tikak.. rilek ar kak.. nok nipu bakpo?”

(sambungan monolog)

“muahahahaha….”

Maka harinya pun tiba. Tak sangka pulak saya bakal memulakan tahun 2010 dengan perjalanan yang agak kurang siuman ini. Berjalan di KL keseorangan tanpa teman (nanti mati pun takde teman jugak). Sebenarnya, saya ada satu hajat yang dah lama dipendam. Saya nak cari buku The Prince by Niccolo Machiavelli di Kinokuniya KLCC. Dah lama cari tapi tak jumpa, bukan senang nak jumpa buku ni. Jadi, setelah bersalam dan cium tangan umi dan abah, nah! Saya naik bas double-decker dan duduk di kerusi tingkat atas, betul-betul di tepi tangga.

(Monolog lagi)

“Kak tiket mano kak tiket? Hehe.”

Maka perjalanan kurang siuman ini bermula.

To be continued - Sakit belakang


Faris Al-Muhandisu: Kalo dop pehe Kelate, mitop soghe translate.. hehe

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You are Chemical Engineer if...

You have a favorite pump manufacturer

You can size distillation columns in your head, but need a pencil and paper to figure the tip on a $45 restaurant bill... ...and think that spending $45 for dinner is exorbitant

You see a good design and still have to change it

You can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary

The microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it

You've modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven

You think "cuddling" is simply an unproductive application of heat exchange

You've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator

You've ever described your spouse in terms of MTBF

You stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE

You've ever considered installing a scrubber or catalytic converter on your kitchen's chimney

Your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place

You automatically associate the words "sexy" and "beautiful" with "butterfly valve"

You've used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts

Your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies

You have any of the following personalized items: Hard hat, Safety goggles, Calculator case, Slide rule

You carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run

You know the direction the water swirls when you flush when you think of centrifugal separation technique

You cannot write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines

You think the value of a book is directly proportionate to the amount of tables, charts and graphs it contains

You once burned down the lab with your experiment or project

You think you look rather snappy in a tie and short-sleeve shirt

You'd really like to have a T-shirt that says "Chemical Engineers Do It In Fluidised Beds"

You've ever introduced your kids by the wrong name

You have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work

You think that when people around you yawn, its because they ddn't absorb enough oxygen. Therefore, pressure should be increased.

Your spouse hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work

Your three-year-old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory

You have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically

You've explained your position in the company to a junior engineer as "I am a vast oasis of knowledge in a desert of ignorance".

You lost your wedding ring for six months and found it in a box of brass tubing fittings in your desk

You refer to your wife and children as your "pilot units" and your family as "pilot plant".

Your work clothes are almost as old as you are.... ... and so is your car.

You think of the Carnot cycle everytime you turn on your AC unit.

When you look at objects in the distance and think of mean free path.

You explain surface tension to your 10 year old when they ask why you are adding oil to boiling spaghetti.

You have a clock with inverted numbers that runs counter-clockwise in your office and you prefer it that way.

You pick your girlfriends by their gpa.

You refer to your wife as my.spouse@home.com

You have ever thought about how coffee changes colour in the body.

You try to explain entropy to strangers at your table during casual dinner conversation.


Glossary:

1. MTBF - Mean Time Between Failures
2. Carnot Cycle - Kind of Thermodynamic Cycle (you don't want to know, believe me)
3. Entropy - a measure of the number of random ways in which a system may be arranged (reversible or irreversible system). also a thermodynamic term.

Faris Al-Muhandisu: Edited for General Readers.. hehe

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You know you're studying engineering when…

You know you're studying engineering when…

You come out of a lecture and feel that you wouldn’t mind being hit by a bus.

You are doing maths that the maths students don’t cover until the 2nd year.

Using a hyphen (-) instead of a minus (−) loses you 1% of the module.

You know the Greek and Arabic alphabets better than the language students.

A 4 hour day is an easy day.

A 9 hour day is still an easy day.

You are up at 3am in the morning trying to finish yet another piece of coursework asking yourself… why?

Shelf stacking at Tesco looks like an attractive career option.

You come out of tutorials feeling like you have just gone 12 rounds with Mike Tyson.

You feel bitter contempt towards anyone complaining of 2 lectures in a row.

Someone complains about ‘take away exams’ you feel a sudden urge to hospitalise them.

A lecture on Control Engineering leaves your ass raw and bleeding.

Even Sunday starts at 9am.

It’s the norm that you can’t fit an equation on 1 line of a page.

Handing in an assignment just means that’s there’s a new one to complete.

Time is measured in submission deadlines.

You could run a marathon in the time it takes to do 1 question.

24 hours in a day doesn’t seem enough.

You find out you have 3x as many exams as practically everyone else.

You frequently ask yourself why on earth are you doing this.

You are used to covering a ridiculously large span of subjects to the same standard as the respective degree students.

You would assume a horse is a sphere to make the maths easier.

Your best friend is your calculator.

Faris Al-Muhandisu: For me, they're undeniable.. haha

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